Head, Shoulders, Knees and ....

The Pain to Be Normal 

When I close my eyes each night I hope to wake in the morning with no pain, to carry on with a normal pain free life with my family. NO one not even other Fibromyalgia patients can know exactly what I feel each day they can only understand relate to my pain. Each person with fibro has their own experience but we have the same condition and worse it's ongoing for life.

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I was talking to my husband about the tender points tonight since I was hurting on my buttocks and he was trying to be playful and a lil smack nearly wanted to make me cry. I pulled up the diagram you'd find on so many sites. Here's an example of one of them. When we counted how many points that I feel flare up on a regular basis it was 16 out of the 18. The worse is my neck, shoulders, buttocks, hips and knees. Those are my worst areas. That doesn't leave me much. My elbows depending on my activities tend to hurt as well but since my shoulders and neck constantly hurt the pain radiates down my arms. When the doctors started trying to figure out where the pain was coming from we also found Arthritis in my spine between the shoulders, so if the Fibromyalgia pain wasn't enough I have the arthritis pain that adds to it. 

My anxiety seems to be worsening lately as well, when I see my doctor in a few weeks I will let her know. I am not sure why but I know that is one of the issues Fibromyalgia has as well. Between my depression and anxiety I've about had it with it all. I am thankful that my husband is so supporting but I think of my children and how they don't understand fully that Mommy isn't like I used to be or like other moms. Cassidy I think understands some but she's older than the boys. She helps me the most when I ask, I'm actually quite proud of her for trying to learn how to do laundry and the dishes. I think she really likes the feeling of importance in the household.  I went to the ER about 2 weeks ago, I was hurting so badly that I wanted to scream and I didn't know what was going on. I have been experiencing not only headaches but now Chronic Migraines as if the Fibromyalgia wasn't enough. I've got medication now to help with that but seriously hurts my budget constantly getting new medication!

I looked at how much I have spent in medication through out the year, while it's not much but its monies that could been spent elsewhere (mind you I use the mail delivery if I didn't use that it would be triple).

Total Amount You Paid: $379.71 **

** This number represents your total out-of-pocket expenses

$379.71 Could buy much needed clothes, shoes, or whatever.. just makes me sick! 

The Holidays 

Christmas was good the kids got to see the grandparents on my side of the family. We spent time with Aunts, Uncles and cousins that is always the best part especially for my kids. They just love being around them. Sometimes they don't get along but on the most part they are always having a ball. The kids were really happy for the gifts they got from everyone and Santa. 

We had an insane issue with the car on Christmas night, the car battery died completely. My father and husband went out to work on trying to charge the battery with the battery charger and suddenly the power went out in my Dad's house. It was an eventful evening it took 3 hours for the guys to get a battery or some sorts going so we could leave town and go back home, by the time they got the car going the lights came back on. I seriously wonder if there was something wrong with our trip and someone was keeping us from heading home. 

Once we got home the kids were excited to see that Santa had stopped by the house. Cassidy got Monster High dolls this Christmas she was begging for them for so long she was thrilled. Reiley got a new remote controlled tractor and some great trucks, and Liam got some trucks as well, I went to Walgreens and found a Ride On Car on sale so I grabbed that up the other day but he doesn't seem to like it much. Maybe in time he'll love it. 


These are my thoughts, feelings and my release from my internal hell!